Brain Tumor Removal Left Paralysis & Speech Impairment

Sat. 11:00 A.M.
Visit: Jack (my husband)
Notes taken by my daughter, Eleanor

“Mama's condition unchanged. No speech.”

I had no rude awakening about the fact that I couldn't speak or that my mind was incapable of digesting words except ones that had been spoken very, very slowly. The realization of it all seemed so gradual.
Dr. Harvey Atwill and at another time S. Miller, came to visit me in ICU. I truly appreciated their coming, especially with them not knowing in what condition they would find me. I knew them, and recognized them immediately, but I could not think of their names. I smiled. They talked. But the words they were saying had no meaning to me. Both were speaking normally, but their speech was too fast for my swollen brain to be able to process the words fast enough to get their meaning. It, to me, was a lot of sounds. Sounds that I couldn't comprehend. I was moved Sunday from ICU to Intermediate Care. I still was so very, very tired and weak, but my thinking had broadened a little, from just realizing that I had already had the operation to wanting and trying to remember names of people and of things.

Sun. 11-1:30
Visit: Jack (my husband), Sally(daughter who is a nurse), & Eleanor(who is a speech therapist)
From my daughter, Eleanor's, notes:

“Tumor benign! Right arm continues to be paralyzed. Can stick out tongue, lick lips. Can say mmmmm and mamamama. Difficulty with tongue elevation. Mother is still very frustrated with her speech. Sensitivity on right side of lips now (jello). Tremor in right arm. Sally thought she felt some resistance. Worked on matching word-to-picture. Daddy is bringing glasses and gowns.”

My feelings about all this: Eleanor, honey, please let me be.
I don't feel good enough to be trying to say mmmmm and mamamama and matching word-to-pictures. My mind won't think and my brain gets so tired........ so quickly!

Largest Meningioma Tumor Doctor Had Ever Seen

Physician's Report

Fri. 2:30 P.M. Dr. Dial

Notes taken by my daughter, Eleanor

“The meningioma was the biggest one he'd ever seen. Strange growth pattern. Grew up and out, more than in, all in bone of skull.

Almost into brain which made it difficult to excise without causing deficit. Is not changing 15% odds on us, but won't know anything for 4 or 5 days when swelling goes down. Will have pathology report in 72 hours.

All we know is Mother is awake, alert, and recognizes us.”

Fri. 2:30 P.M.

Visit: Sally and Eleanor (2 of my daughters)

Notes taken by Eleanor

“Visited Mama until 3:10. Held her hand. Showed her get-well cards.

Auditory comprehension poor. No effort at speech. Very tired.”

In ICU After Brain Tumor Removal

Then at 1:10 P.M., according to Eleanor’s notes, Dr. Paysinger, having finished the operation, came out to the waiting room to give this report:

7:30 A.M. – 1:10 P.M. Thursday surgery- My daughter Eleanor's notes:
"The tumor (the second meningioma) was much larger than anticipated even from CT Scan or arteriogram studies. Grew through the dura, up into skull bone and almost into brain so it was hard to remove. Thinks he got it all.
Could not put plate in. Surgery took longer than expected so couldn’t get plate in. Mama had been through too much. Will put plate in in 6 months-12 months. (Another operation? The surgeons would need to put a plate in as a substitution for most of the skull on the left side of my head. I was not even awake from this operation and I was already needing another one?) Mama is resting. Could see her 4-5 hrs later when she wakes up."

After the surgeons had sewn my scalp flap back in place, a large bulky dressing consisting of a kind of gauze wrap, about an inch thick was applied to my bald head and a drain, left in the epidural space, drained from the fresh incision and my swollen brain into a sack. The dressing came down over my eyebrows and partially covered my ears making it hard for me to hear.

When I awoke from the surgery I was in the Intensive Care Unit. I was still a little drunk from the anesthesia and kept dozing off… waking up… coming… going. I didn’t much care about anything… I was just so sleepy. There was nothing I needed to ask for; my every need was being anticipated so I was hardly aware of not being able to speak. There was, of course, no problem with the use of my tongue; the problem was with the use of my brain. It was injured and swollen and wouldn’t perform. My mind was blank. I had no thoughts… until I took one look at myself and my mind responded to what I saw.

My right arm lay limply on a pillow, as if dead. My right leg was propped up against a second pillow. The right side of my mouth was numb with my upper right lip drooping down over my teeth, and my throat was raw. I realized then that “I had already had the operation.” It had taken only four hours to turn me from an able-bodied, independent person into a completely dependent, helpless, disabled human being. This tumor had really done me in; I looked as if I had had a stroke. It would be a long, hard road ahead… bringing me back from the depths.

Eleanor and Julie, not even knowing whether I would know them or not, came in the ICU to see me as I was trying to regain consciousness. I immediately recognized them… my precious daughters! I managed a smile. (I didn’t want them to know that I couldn’t think of either of their names, or, in fact, think of anything. My mind was blank.)