Laity Day Service

One day Rev. Carl Clary, our minister at this time at St. Andrews United Methodist Church, asked me to speak in church October 13, 1975, Laity Sunday, on the subject: JESUS – LORD OVER MY CONVALESCENCE. I had never spoken in front of the whole congregation before and I knew I would be petrified! But I thought to myself I just could not miss this opportunity to thank all the friends who had been so kind to us during my long illness, and most of all I wanted to thank the Lord for making me well. So I told Carl I would be afraid, but I would try…

Swimming

It was so good to be home again! I was bald-headed, of course, and certainly nothing to look at , so thin with a big horse-shoe shaped scar on top of my head… but I was no longer depressed! My slowness and constant tiredness were gone. I was beginning to feel normal again… oriented and alert.

Dr. Paysinger had released me from the hospital with no limitation on activities, so, with Larry and Barbara Bly’s invitation to come, I was swimming with them in their pool just twelve days after I got home. It felt so good to begin being active again after months of being “out of it” and sickly. I jumped into the cool, refreshing water and to my dismay when I came up, there, on top of that cool, refreshing water floated one of my “falsies” from out of my bathing suit. I was horrified! I was thin, but I didn’t realize I was that thin! It didn’t take me long to snatch it up… put it back in… and act as though it had never happened.

The summer sun seemed unusually hot this year… maybe because of my lack of hair. I was determined to get back into playing tennis again, in spite of the scorching hot days. If I needed an excuse for poor playing I could truthfully tell the others that I had a hot plate in my head.

My hair began growing back nicely… real short, but cute I thought. I was feeling like a new person.

Strange!

I was released from the hospital the next Friday, June 7, after just eight days. Jack came up to drive me home to Orangeburg, but…

Before we left Columbia, Jack bought me two pleated turbans, one pink and one white, to wear on my bald head. They were soft like the little stocking cap I was given at the hospital after the dressing was removed. I found the turban much more comfortable to wear than my wig which tended to be scratchy against the raw incision.

When we arrived at home in Orangeburg, something very strange happened. When I opened my closet door, none of the clothes hanging in the closet looked familiar! It looked to me as if all my clothes had been removed and replaced with some clothes I had never seen before. Then shortly I was able to remember them.

Strange!

And later, when I was told I had made those red burlap flowers as part of my therapy while having the shock treatments at the Baptist Hospital, I could hardly believe my eyes. As I scrutinized the flowers I had absolutely no recollection, at all, of having seen them… much less having made them.

Strange!

It was a disturbing feeling, knowing that I hadn’t known, for this long period of time, what was going on… or what I had done or said. I reckon it’s the way a drunk feels when he’s told the many things he said and did while he was drunk.

Eleanor’s Wedding – Polly’s Letter

Eleanor was married Saturday night June 1, 1974 as planned after having to make the decision whether to go on with the wedding or not. I would have hated to interfere with her getting married and if I hadn’t made it through the surgery on Thursday she could have just made it into a combination wedding-funeral… while the church was all pretty.

Needless to say, the mother-of-the-bride didn’t make it to the wedding. Or get to wear her green mother-of-the-bride gown with shoes dyed to match. But Eleanor sent me her bouquet, and there were many pictures and letters describing everything…

June 3, 1974

Dearest Ashlyn,

How we rejoice with thanksgiving for your successful surgery. We’ve heard such good reports…

You all had a beautiful, happy wedding! It was the most meaningful and religious wedding I think I’ve ever attended. Eleanor was radiant and beautiful. She is a fantastic young lady and I know how proud you must be of her.

There was a real good crowd – we were pouring punch like mad there were so many people. We had added a punch table on the patio area between the wings – we used Charlotte F’s flambeaus and it looked lovely. The food was delicious… the cake was beautiful…

I’ve never seen a bride and groom “stick around” so long! They were thoroughly enjoying it all…

The church just looked perfect. The tall cathedral candles on the pews made it look regal.

The best looking man there was John! He is so good looking and did an excellent job of ushering smiling all the time.

Julie and Sally looked so pretty and had so much poise! I just can’t wait for you to see the pictures.

Martha S tried so hard to take movie film but…

I did fine during the ceremony until Jack came out loud and clear with his answer to Carl when giving Eleanor away with “her mother and I”.

You have some wonderful friends. How can one say enough about Gerry P and Nancy A? They have been terrific.

I understand you’ve been walking and progressing beautifully. Keep up the good work and hurry home.

Love you,

Polly

The Move and Surgery

By the time they had gotten me downstairs at the Baptist Hospital I was in a state of exhaustion. Jack suggested to Julie (our 20 year old daughter) that she and I ride in the back seat of the car so I could put my head in her lap while he drove to the Richland Memorial Hospital. She and I got in, and I lay my head in her lap. Julie told me later it was all she could do to hold back the tears. She said she was sure if she were to break down it would frighten and upset me, so she tried desperately to stay calm and reassuring in spite of fearing the worst. So many thoughts went racing through her mind: Would the tumor already have caused permanent damage? Mama was showing signs of dementia! What about the nine shock treatments? Would the tumor be malignant? Would Mama even make it through the operation?

When we arrived at the Richland Memorial Hospital and they finally got me settled in my room and in the bed, a sweet hall nurse could see that Julie was upset and about to cry, so she motioned for Julie to come help her get a pillow from the linen closet. She then tried to calm Julie’s fears by convincing her that she was sure her mother would be all right.

That night I asked Jack what I was doing in this other hospital. He told me that I had a brain tumor that would have to be removed in the morning and that we were just going to trust the Lord and the neurosurgeons.

The next morning, Thursday May 30, my head was shaved and I was taken in for surgery. The tumor was in the best possible location for removal and was known as a meningioma, which is a tumor growing from the dura or lining of the brain. Mine was the size of a tangerine and wasn’t malignant! After the removal of the tumor a cranioplastic plate which substitutes for the diseased portion of my skullbone, was wired in place with a #28 stainless steel wire before my scalp flap was returned to its normal position. Then a sterile dressing was applied. With the tumor out of my head I was on my way to making a quick and complete recovery.

Brain Scan and Neurosurgical Evaluation

Brain Scan

Monday morning May 27, 1974 at the Baptist Hospital, I was given a CT (computerized tomography) Brain Scan to determine whether I did, indeed, have a tumor. The scan showed I did… a large frontal lobe tumor on the left side of my head. The shock treatments had been so unnecessary! So unneeded!

Neurosurgical Evaluation and Recommendations

Tuesday, May 28, a neurosurgical evaluation and recommendation were made. Dr. Danny Paysinger, a neurosurgeon, would perform the operation. When he examined me later he found: “The patient is very demented. She has a very short attention span with no memory or recall of the moment. She cannot handle figures and the examination is extremely difficult because of the patient’s inability to carry out instructions even of a simple nature”.

Then Wednesday, May 29, I was given an Arteriogram to determine more about the tumor. The location proved to be favorable; the tumor would be accessible.

Jack, in Orangeburg, was called immediately and his permission obtained for brain surgery. He was told I would be operated on the next morning and that he should come up to Columbia that afternoon and move me from the Baptist Hospital to the Richland Memorial Hospital where an operating room would be available at that time. So Jack and our middle daughter, Julie, drove up to Columbia that afternoon to move me and my things from one hospital to the other.

Pre-Senile or Brain Tumor

On Saturday May 25, 1974, a neurologist, Dr. Taber, was called to the Baptist Hospital to examine me. He wrote in a report about the examination, “In my opinion Mrs. Gray could have an organic disorder”.

Saturday night, May 25, in Orangeburg, my family was at a just-family (because of my condition)-bridal-supper given for Eleanor by friends at their home. Jack had been calling Columbia all day trying to get in touch with somebody who could give him a report on the neurologist’s examination. Finally Dr. Taber called Jack at our friends’ home and reported to Jack that, at this point, it was thought that I was either pre-senile or had a brain tumor!

O-O-O-O-Oh! Either would be terrible! We, our whole family, had known senility first-hand with Mother! …Or a brain tumor! O-O-Oh… No!! Either prognosis was awful!

(This was in 1974 and brain tumors weren’t prevalent like they seem to be today. We had never known anybody to have brain tumor! It was foreign to us… and very scary!)

These two possibilities faced my family this Saturday night… just one week before Eleanor’s wedding. She broke out in hives.