Seeking Answers to My Set Back

Jack called again for me, to make an appointment with the neurosurgeon in Columbia.

“This is Jack Gray. I'm calling for my wife, Ashlyn.......'' (He would have to make many a call to the doctors for me; I find it extremely hard to try and explain anything.... especially over a telephone.) Jack was told that the neurosurgeon would need a CT Scan, in order to determine if there had been any change since the last scan.

O-o-oh! A hold up! We needed to be doing something quick! Time was of essence! I was losing more and more ground every day.

At long last, we drove to Columbia for the appointment carrying the CT scan with us. Jack, again, helped me tell Dr. Paysinger how much I had regressed. But Dr. Paysinger, too, had no explanation as to what was causing my worsening condition or what we could do about it. The situation seemed desperate. We just had to get in touch with somebody who can tell us something! Dr. Paysinger knew of a Dr. Cook at Duke University Medical School that might be just the one who could tell us what was causing the set back.... and what to do about it. So, with great hope we decided on the spur of the moment to leave the next day for Durham , N .C .

Jack, with his expectations, and I, in my deteriorating condition struck out in a van he had borrowed to ensure a more comfortable trip in case I needed to lie down. Surely the doctor at Duke would have some answer!

But, to our disappointment the Duke doctor too, had no explanation..... except there was a possibility that maybe a small blood vessel had ruptured in my brain, which would be causing a lessening of my motor control on my right side, but Dr. Cook was not able to tell us anything that could be done to help my condition.

I thought back.... and remembered that bad cough I had had for such a long time. Possibly that had caused my set back. But still the Duke doctor didn't know what could be done about the regression. No remedy! I felt we couldn't win for losing! No one had been able to tell us anything. So we returned home from Durham with a sick feeling in our stomachs, not knowing whether I could progress out of this stage or not. There was nothing that could be done about my condition; I was going to have to start again, from scratch. We would just have to make, somehow, the most out of a bad situation. I felt I had nothing, at all, going for me. These were depressing days....for both Jack and me. We were having to try to adjust to a completely new, different and unwanted life-style.